A church wedding is a service of worship before God that acknowledges the need for the presence of God in your relationship.


Pastors are glad to meet with you to discuss your plans before death as well as minister to you in your time of bereavement.


The Columbarium and Memorial Garden provides
a peaceful place on Church property to keep or spread the cremains of loved ones.

Christian Marriage

Christian marriage is a joyous and celebrative event in the life of the church. A church wedding is a service of worship before God that acknowledges the need for the presence of God in your relationship.

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Wedding Guidelines

To assist in planning for the wedding ceremony and to ensure the sacredness of the service itself, the Session of the Kirk of Kildaire Presbyterian Church in Cary, NC offers a complete set of guidelines for couples planning a Christian marriage in this church.


The Kirk of Kildaire, Presbyterian welcomes the use of its facility for weddings of members who have been active for a minimum of six months prior to the wedding date. The child of an active member may also schedule a wedding.

In certain circumstances, the Pastor in consultation with the Session may approve a wedding for non-members.

Building & Facility Usage

See the Facilities & Usage page for additional information and policies.
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Funeral & Memorial Services​

Pastors are glad to meet with you to discuss your plans before death as well as minister to you in your time of bereavement.

We encourage you to notify the church office, as soon as possible, of your loved one’s death or impending death.

Funeral Guidelines

To assist in planning for the ceremony, the Session at the Kirk offers a complete set of funeral planning guidelines.

In Preparation

The Kirk is offering a series of videos to you titled End of Life: Providing Peace, Help and Hope for you and your family.  The video links are below.  Contact the church office if you have additional questions after watching the videos or if you would like to speak with a pastor.

Advanced Directives (Caryn Mastali, Parish Nurse) – What are they, how to complete these forms and what to do with them.

Hospice & Palliative Care (Rich Gwaltney, Transitions Life Care) – What are these and how do they differ?  How do I find out more about our local options? 

What to Expect from the Kirk Office (Cyndi Wilson, Office Administrator) –

The Kirk’s Funeral Forms (including information about our columbarium) How to complete these and what to do with them. (Nancy Stokes, Staff Associate for Caregiving) –

Music at the Service of Witness to the Resurrection– What is appropriate? Examples of hymns.  In addition to congregational hymns, is there a special prelude/postlude/solo desired? (Dr. Larry Abernathy, Director of Music & Arts & Dr. Moon Choi, Organist) –

A Pastoral Perspective about Death (Rev. Melinda Merkley King, Associate Pastor for Caregiving) –

Preparation Forms & Guidelines

At the Time of Death

Notify the church office, as soon as possible, of your loved one’s death or impending death so the pastors and church can minister to you. A pastor will schedule an appointment with you and other family members to plan the memorial or funeral service.

The purpose of this guide is to support families in this time of grief by assisting in planning a service that recognizes the loss of a loved one and the celebration of their life. The service, in expressing the faith of the church, will be an occasion of dignity, reverence and remembrance. We carefully follow the guidelines for the Service of Witness to the Resurrection which is found in  the Directory of Worship, which is a part of the Constitution of the Presbyterian Church (USA).


Memorial services are normally conducted by one or more of the members of our clergy staff. The officiating minister will plan the service with you, help with additional arrangements, and give you all necessary instructions.

Funeral Directors & Mortuaries

There are many fine funeral homes in the Raleigh and Cary area. Please contact one with which you are familiar. If you need assistance in making a selection, the clergy will be happy to help you make your decision.

Place & Plans for the Service

The service ordinarily should be held in the Sanctuary of the church. The Sanctuary seats approximately 600 persons, but its design works equally well for 100 or more.

It is also appropriate to hold the service in the chapel of the funeral home, or to plan an abbreviated service at the grave or Memorial Garden / Columbarium. The funeral or memorial service may be observed before or after the committal of the body.

The family should plan to arrive at the church no later than one-half hour before the service is scheduled to begin. Family members and those to be seated with the family are asked to go directly to the Kirk Chapel (by the church office) upon arrival. It is important that they remain there until the service is ready to begin.

Visitation & Viewing the Body

Some people are comforted by seeing the body, but this is a family decision. A visitation in the funeral home the evening before the funeral may or may not a helpful time for the family and friends. Ordinarily, the pastor will be with the family at the beginning of the visitation, before friends arrive.
If the family wishes to hold a visitation at the church, that is often done after the service. In terms of viewing the body on the day of the service, it can be requested that the casket be open for an hour preceding the service. The casket is closed 15 minutes before the worship service begins.


Cremation is an option for Christians and is supported by the Session and the pastors of this church. In case of cremation, no casket is present, and the family may wish to have a picture of their loved one present on the day of the memorial service. It is recommended that ashes be scattered or placed in the Memorial Garden or Columbarium. The service will be led by one of the pastors.


The pastor should be notified by the family and funeral home about the location of the cemetery.
Depending on location and availability, the pastor(s) may lead a short service of commendation. 


Burial at the Kirk
The Columbarium & Memorial Garden

Located at the southeast corner of the Kirk’s main sanctuary, the Columbarium and Memorial Garden provides a peaceful place on church property to memorialize those who have died.

Cremated remains may be placed in an urn in a niche of the Columbarium or spread in the Memorial Garden.  The niche plaques that list those who have had their cremated remains placed in the Columbarium.  There is also a memorial plaque to list those whose cremated remains have been spread in the garden or those whose remains are elsewhere but want to be named in the Kirk’s garden as well.

There are memorial opportunities within the garden for sculptures, a fountain, and benches.

Contact Information

200 High Meadow Drive, Cary, NC  27511

Memorial Garden & Columbarium

See brochure above for opportunities to consider placement.

Memorial Garden & Columbarium Map & Photos

Memorial Garden & Columbarium Map
Memorial Fountain
Memorial Bench
Niches & Fountain