KIRK OF KILDAIRE, PRESBYTERIAN

200 High Meadow Drive

Cary, North Carolina 27511

(919) 467-4944

Email:  kirkofkildaire@nc.rr.com

 

WEDDING GUIDELINES

 

Christian marriage is a joyous and celebrative event in the life of the church.  A church wedding is a service of worship before God that acknowledges the need for the presence of God in your relationship.  To assist in planning for the wedding ceremony and to ensure the sacredness of the service itself, the Session of the Kirk of Kildaire, Presbyterian offers the following guidelines for couples planning a Christian marriage in this church. 

 

ELIGIBILITY

 

The Kirk of Kildaire, Presbyterian welcomes the use of its facility for weddings of members, who have been active for a minimum of six months prior to the wedding date.  The child of an active member may also schedule a wedding.

 

In certain circumstances, the Pastor in consultation with the Session may approve a wedding for non-members.

 

PREPARATION

 

  1. Contact the Office Administrator to tentatively schedule date.
  2. Contact a Pastor to schedule initial consultation.
  3. Meet with Pastor, at the initial consultation:
    1. Discuss Kirk Wedding Guidelines
    2. Reserve dates for rehearsal and wedding on church calendar
    3. Schedule dates for premarital counseling
  1. “Wedding Party” Information Form

Complete the attached forms and make two copies.  Return one to the church office at your first premarital counseling session and the other to the Wedding Coordinator at your first meeting.

 

  1. Who will perform the rite of marriage?
    1. Ordinarily, one of the Pastors of the Kirk will officiate at the Service of Worship celebrating your marriage, as well as provide premarital counseling.
    2. A guest Pastor from another church or denomination may be invited to assist the Kirk’s Pastors.  Please furnish the person’s name and address to the Pastor, so that an appropriate invitation may be issued. 
  1. Music

It is the responsibility of the Pastor to see that all music selected is appropriate.

    1. The wedding couple will contact the Organist. 
    2. The Bride and Groom may consult with the Music Ministry staff for suggestions for soloists or instrumentalists.  It is your responsibility to instruct guest musicians to consult with the Organist. 

7.      A Wedding Coordinator from our Wedding Guild will be assigned to your wedding.  A bride and groom may request a particular Wedding Coordinator from the members of the Wedding Guild.

 

WEDDING COORDINATOR

 

The Kirk uses Wedding Coordinators to facilitate this ministry of the church.  They are lay volunteers who are familiar with the Kirk’s facilities, wedding guidelines and are trained to assist the pastors and couple in planning a meaningful wedding.  The Kirk office will contact the Wedding Guild whenever a rehearsal/wedding is scheduled.

Wedding Coordinators are responsible for:

  1. Contacting the Bride and Groom and scheduling initial meeting.
  2. Discussing the Wedding Information Packet and the scheduling of the wedding day.
  3. Scheduling a meeting with the Bride and Groom one month prior to the wedding to discuss Wedding Party placement, seating of special guests and final details of the wedding day.  At this meeting, permit forms for the florist, photographer and caterer should be signed and left with the Wedding Coordinator.Opening and closing the church building for your rehearsal and wedding, facilitating use of the Sanctuary for pictures or related activities and coordinating other activities that may be taking place simultaneously at the Kirk.
  4. Assisting the presiding Pastor as she/he leads the rehearsal.
  5. Coordinating:
    1. the ushers in their seating of guests and those family members who are to be seated with honor
    2. those who may be designated to light candles prior to the wedding ceremony
    3. the procession and recession of the wedding party into the Sanctuary, including any children that are involved

If Bride and Groom desire, a family member or close friend will be welcome to assist the Wedding Coordinators.

 

REHEARSAL


  1. Rehearsals will begin and end on time.  Rehearsals should be completed in one hour maximum.  Participants are to be punctual.  Rehearsals will begin at 5p.m.
  2. Bride and Groom will bring to the Rehearsal:
    1. Marriage license
    2. Guest register
    3. Wedding bulletins
    4. Unity candle (if one is to be used)
  3. Photographers and videographers who attend the rehearsal should be unobtrusive during the actual rehearsal.
  4. The Rehearsal will be conducted by the presiding Pastor, assisted by the Wedding Coordinator.  In the event that a guest Pastor is officiating, the Wedding Coordinator will assist him/her.

 

WEDDING INFORMATION

  1. License

The Bride and/or Groom call the Register of Deeds of Wake County for information regarding the marriage license. The Bride and Groom bring the license to the rehearsal and leave it with the Pastor.The license is witnessed following the wedding ceremony and the office administrator mails it to the Register of Deeds. Certified copies of the Marriage Certificate may be obtained from the Register of Deeds Office.

 

  1. Dressing Room

The Session room, restrooms and adult classrooms (adjacent to the Fellowship Hall) maybe used as dressing rooms for the wedding party. The location and number of rooms to be used will be discussed with the Wedding Coordinator.

 

  1. Photography
    A wedding is a worship service and, no flash photography is permitted during the ceremony.
    a.      During the wedding ceremony, photographers may take still photos either from the audio room balcony or the back of the Sanctuary using only existing light or timed exposure.
    b.     Videographers must have their equipment in place and operational 45 minutes before the wedding is scheduled to begin and cleared from the Kirk 45 minutes following the ceremony.
    ·  Video cameras may be placed in the audio room balcony window and may be live attended.
    ·  Video cameras may be placed in the Chancel area near the piano or behind the pulpit and may not be live attended during the wedding.
    c.     Following or prior to the ceremony, flash photography may be taken of the wedding party and families.
  1. Flowers/Candles/Decorations
    Persons who have scheduled their wedding for special times (Lent, Easter, Advent) must accept the Sanctuary as it is decorated e.g. Lilies, Christmas Trees, etc.  These decorations must not be moved. 
    a.      Chancel furniture must remain in place.  The communion table may be moved two or three feet back to accommodate the wedding party during the exchanging of vows.  The only items on the communion table are the Bible, chalice and plate.  If a unity candle is used, a unity candle stand must be rented.
    b.     Candelabra
    ·  The Kirk has two 7-wick candelabra that may be used for your wedding.  If you choose to use them, advise the Wedding Coordinators.
    ·  Any wax candles used for the ceremony must be dripless candles.
    c.  The Kirk does not permit:  trellises, aisle cloths, dropping flower petals or other materials, pinning, taping, tacking, gluing, nailing, stapling or wiring of decorations to any wall, woodwork or furnishing of the Sanctuary, tossing confetti, rice, birdseed, flowers or other materials, or releasing balloons, birds or other materials/objects.
    d. Blowing bubbles outside is permitted. 
    e. Ribbons, bows or flowers may be secured to the ends of pews with rubber bands only. 
    f. Your florist is responsible for contacting the Wedding Coordinator to schedule a time suitable for decorating the facilities. The Wedding Coordinator will be present at this time.  The size for the retable floral arrangement should not exceed 36” high x 30” wide.  (The retable is the table, which holds flowers and offering plates during worship.)
    g.        Palm tubs and other floral containers must have protective covers underneath.
    h.      The Bride and Groom are responsible for seeing that the florist and/or decorators follow all requirements outlined.  If the florist is unavailable to remove decorations, the Bride and Groom will designate someone to collect all decorations and remove them.  It is expected that the Kirk facilities will be left “broom clean” after removal of flowers, candles and other decorations. 
    i.     The Office Administrator will contact the church housekeeper to prepare the sanctuary for use the next day. 

  2. “Florist Permit to Decorate”
    The Bride and Groom should obtain the florist’s signature on the “Florist Permit to Decorate” and return the permit to the Wedding Coordinator one month prior to the wedding.  The florist will be given a set of guidelines for flowers and decorations.

 

RECEPTION/REHEARSAL INFORMATION

 

The Fellowship Hall on the lower level of the church is available for your reception.  You are allowed use of the hall, kitchen facilities and rest rooms on the lower level.  No access to any other room in the church will be allowed during the reception.  No smoking is allowed in the building, nor are the use of controlled substances or alcoholic beverages permitted anywhere on church property.

 

The church provides the room, tables and chairs.  Church linens may also be used, but they must be cleaned and returned to the kitchen within 48 hours of the reception.  The warming ovens and ice from the ice machine may be used as well.  As a general rule, any furniture or other items located in the Fellowship Hall may be moved to best accommodate the reception.  Furniture from other parts of the church should not be moved to the Fellowship Hall. 

At least two weeks prior to the wedding date, the person planning the reception must furnish information to the church office as to the number of tables and chairs to be used.  The responsible parties will set up the room and will return the Fellowship Hall to its original set up following the reception.  You will need to provide the name, address and telephone number of these persons to the Wedding Coordinator one month prior to the wedding.  The Kirk Housekeeper will assist in returning the Fellowship Hall to its original setting.

Decorations are the responsibility of the person having the reception.  All decorations need to be removed immediately following the reception.

Professional caterers maybe used.  All food preparations must be completed outside of the church.  It is the responsibility of the caterer to furnish all tableware (plates, glassware, cups, silver, etc.) and linens (unless you are borrowing the Kirk’s).  The caterer will need to schedule a time at the church (at least two weeks prior to the reception) to become familiar with the kitchen facilities and the Fellowship Hall and to meet with the Wedding Coordinator.  Catering services will be responsible for providing persons to serve the food and clear tables, and for leaving the kitchen and reception area clean and in order.  The attached “Caterer’s Permit” release form must be signed by the independent caterer and returned to the Wedding Coordinator one month prior to the reception. 

When someone other than a professional caterer uses the kitchen, a person must be designated as the responsible party for all activities involving food preparation and serving.  The same instructions apply as in the case of a professional caterer regarding food preparation, providing all necessary service items, etc.  This person will need to contact the church office at least two weeks prior to the reception to schedule a time to be instructed as to the specific requirements regarding the operation of the kitchen equipment, location of specific items, clean-up operations, etc.  The Bride and Groom need to see that this person signs the “Caterer’s Permit” form, and will be responsible for returning it to the Wedding Coordinators one month prior to the reception.

If you have scheduled your reception at the Kirk, complete and return the attached “Wedding Reception Agreement” to the Wedding Coordinator one month prior to the wedding.

 

GENERAL INFORMATION

*  The Kirk Sanctuary seats 600.

*  Fellowship Hall seats 250 for a sit-down meal.  Musicians and/or a dance area would minimize this amount.  Non-seated receptions would accommodate more.

*  Tobacco products, alcohol and controlled substances are prohibited within any Kirk building or anywhere on the grounds.  It is the responsibility of the Bride and Groom and their families to advise wedding party members and guests to refrain from using any of these substances before, during and after the wedding rehearsal, wedding ceremony and any reception held in the Kirk buildings or on Kirk property.

SCHEDULE OF FEES

Since weddings require special services on the part of the church staff, it is necessary to indicate financial responsibilities involved.  The following fees apply for weddings at the Kirk, and are to be paid at least one week in advance, with checks written to the individuals (minister, organist, housekeeper) and payable directly to them.

 

Refundable deposit                                                                   $200

Use of Sanctuary                                                                      No Charge

Use of Fellowship Hall                                                              No Charge

Service of the Pastor (Honorarium)                                           $100

Service of the Wedding Coordinator                                          No Charge

Kirk Organist Fee                                                                     $200

Custodial Fee (wedding only)                                                    $ 50

Custodial Fee (wedding and reception)                                      $150